bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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