this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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