well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
