now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize