Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
