just tell him i said nine months
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i think i just lost a toe
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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