I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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