I wannas sexs uuuuu
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
