The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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