i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
