Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
