yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
