I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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