whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize