Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize