so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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