so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm too high and old for this...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
