You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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