Cold hands, warm shart.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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