could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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