You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love you. Go after that dick
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize