so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Someone came in the potted fern
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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