Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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