Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
