it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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