Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
