Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
