FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
