Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
