Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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