everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
