Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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