everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we're so committed to being not committed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
