I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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