Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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