She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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