I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
