I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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