i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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