u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
