It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
