I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
