I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
