I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
