Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize