Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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