im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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