i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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