A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
