Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had sex on a dog bed..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
