I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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