I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
