I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
