I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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