I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
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They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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