I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize