Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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