Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
